Down to One Parent, Another Check-up and Vegas


Image result for nashville trafficMy trip home was wonderful but there are things about Nashville that are beginning to make me sad, primarily, the traffic. Geeze! Where did everybody come from? My bestie told me that an article came out, in either the Washington Post or the New Yorker, alerting the country that Nashville is the new "It" city. Since then, 100 new families move there every day...every-day! The infrastructure wasn't prepared for the growth, and so the traffic is absolutely ridiculous. We were going to go back to our alum school for a day trip and opted to wait until 10:00am, in order to get some release from the rush hour traffic. It still took 35 minutes to get out of town. Sundays aren't much better and it appears to be getting worse with each passing year.









One of the other disheartening aspects is how expensive everything has gotten there, which is probably a direct correlation with the growth. Just booking our room was at least 35% more than it was two years ago (and nothing was going on - no conferences, concerts, sporting events, nothing). It may be that we'll have to "meet in the middle" as time goes on. What used to be a very inexpensive, easy-going trip has become the complete opposite. My sorority sisters are even talking about meeting up for our 25th anniversary "elsewhere" so that budgets aren't busted traveling home.

Despite all of the expense and headaches, I enjoyed my trip home which is always made even more enjoyable because of my friend. I tried Hattie B's for the first time and loved it! We were going to go to Prince's (the home of the original, Nashville Hot Chicken) but we could never coordinate their sometimes odd hours. Oh, well. Maybe next time? (If I can afford to go back).

My trip was in mid-October but the surrounding areas still looked like summer. It was green everywhere! Where was the wonderful fall foliage I was so looking forward to? The last day there, I spent some time with my dad and step-mother. He did not look well. Dialysis is hard on the body and literally takes your life away, bit by bit. He could barely stay awake to talk to us so, I spent most of the visit talking to my step-mother. When we left, it felt very final but I didn't want to acknowledge this in my mind. A couple of weeks later, my step-mother called to tell me my dad had been put on life support. This was when I knew that the last time I saw him was truly the last. He died November 27, 2017 in hospice.

So, back to Nashville I went. Remember that whole "expensive" thing? Yeah, that. Only two months later and, what typically takes me two years to save up for, I had to come up with the money again for myself and my husband on the fly. We had to dip into our savings (thank God we have some!) and buy tickets to go home for the funeral. My hubby has a client who lives here and in Nashville. He graciously offered up his work condo for us to use, while we were there. I am so grateful to him for that! The flights I found were amazingly priced and the car rental company gave us an upgrade. Angels of all kinds were with us.

The service was lovely and being with the family is always good. My uncle (my dad's older brother) is a lot like me in that we didn't need to be with or hover over the body. My dad is gone and that shell he left behind is not him. I understand that people grieve differently but everyone seemed to think that I needed to just be in the space with the coffin. Nope! I'm not the one. We arrived at the funeral a little later and that was okay with me. Afterward, we all had dinner together at a restaurant; joking and laughing. This is what my dad would have appreciated.

An odd but nice series of moments during my time with the family; all of the compliments. My sister had been in Nashville about three weeks ahead of me.  Her immediate flight out was due to some drama she felt compelled to rectify (long story). Basically, the last words she said to my father were not nice at all. She was with him while he was in the hospital and while in hospice so, she spent that time getting to know the step-sisters and step-mother better. I should point out that we are very different. I noticed that, when I arrived, there was this palpable appreciation for my presence. It was incredibly strong. I received compliment after compliment on how I looked and my well-being. I gathered that all the hard work I've been putting into me is visible to others. Sometimes it takes having people who've never seen you or haven't seen you in a while, to point out the really great things you posses. Again, so grateful for this!

We (hubby and I), also spent this time together in Tennessee reconnecting. It was, after all, where we met, where we fell in love, where we married and where we made our first home together. We drove up to our campus and visited some old haunts, one of which being the park where he gave me my promise ring.  Later that day, we went to the state park where we were married.  Just as on our wedding day, there was a briskness on the lake and we held each other tightly. My father married us on that lake. I came home a bit sad, but at peace.

Fast forward two months - I had my 6-month appointment on February 1st and my doctor was overjoyed.  His comment: "I should have you talk to some of my patients about what you're doing." Yay! He said my numbers were excellent! He tried to talk me out of taking my high-blood pressure meds completely, but then we settled on half the dose. I was down over 40 pounds since being diagnosed the previous May and my A1C1 is at 5.5 (it was at 7.1 at my very first visit). Woohoo! I'll have another visit in August and I'm praying that I'll be at my goal weight. Once there, I will do whatever is necessary to maintain it. Weight loss is a bit slower now (not unusual) but, it's still coming off.

Because we had to use a lot of additional funds for the funeral, hubby and I could not do the 20th anniversary trip he was planning. Instead, he booked a few days in Vegas for the entire family the first week in April (spring break). It was a wonderful time and we enjoyed it even more so because of the weather. Not sure about the rest of the country, but winter decided to come back in late March. There have been regular storms bringing in lots of rain and sometimes snow with chilly temps. Nevada was in the wonderful high 80's; just what we needed. The stress seemed to evaporate from all of us. My eldest has been particularly stressed out, what with a new show coming up, prom, graduation and (most importantly) the decision to make on which college to attend. I'm praying, constantly, for financial miracles. I don't want her to graduate with a degree and a suitcase full of debt. Hubby and I quietly celebrated 20 years of marriage together. So very grateful to have him in my life!

My bestie is coming out at the end of May. It is her turn this year, but she has to come early because of graduation. Not mad about that at all! My cousin is coming, too (we happened to finagle that when I visited Nashville in October). Then, off to Vegas again. This time, it's the TOB (Three Old Broads -ha!) going. My bestie's last time in Vegas was in 1990 and my cousin has never been. It's always fun to go someplace you've been and see it through someone else's eyes. It's like seeing it for the first time all over again!

My next post won't take as long (at least, that's my plan). I have to schedule a visit with my OBGYN soon and I'm eager to see what he has to say. After all, my entire diagnosis happened because of my visit with him.

BTW, I borrowed a pair of my daughter's jeans a few weeks ago. Perfect fit!