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Down to One Parent, Another Check-up and Vegas


Image result for nashville trafficMy trip home was wonderful but there are things about Nashville that are beginning to make me sad, primarily, the traffic. Geeze! Where did everybody come from? My bestie told me that an article came out, in either the Washington Post or the New Yorker, alerting the country that Nashville is the new "It" city. Since then, 100 new families move there every day...every-day! The infrastructure wasn't prepared for the growth, and so the traffic is absolutely ridiculous. We were going to go back to our alum school for a day trip and opted to wait until 10:00am, in order to get some release from the rush hour traffic. It still took 35 minutes to get out of town. Sundays aren't much better and it appears to be getting worse with each passing year.









One of the other disheartening aspects is how expensive everything has gotten there, which is probably a direct correlation with the growth. Just booking our room was at least 35% more than it was two years ago (and nothing was going on - no conferences, concerts, sporting events, nothing). It may be that we'll have to "meet in the middle" as time goes on. What used to be a very inexpensive, easy-going trip has become the complete opposite. My sorority sisters are even talking about meeting up for our 25th anniversary "elsewhere" so that budgets aren't busted traveling home.

Despite all of the expense and headaches, I enjoyed my trip home which is always made even more enjoyable because of my friend. I tried Hattie B's for the first time and loved it! We were going to go to Prince's (the home of the original, Nashville Hot Chicken) but we could never coordinate their sometimes odd hours. Oh, well. Maybe next time? (If I can afford to go back).

My trip was in mid-October but the surrounding areas still looked like summer. It was green everywhere! Where was the wonderful fall foliage I was so looking forward to? The last day there, I spent some time with my dad and step-mother. He did not look well. Dialysis is hard on the body and literally takes your life away, bit by bit. He could barely stay awake to talk to us so, I spent most of the visit talking to my step-mother. When we left, it felt very final but I didn't want to acknowledge this in my mind. A couple of weeks later, my step-mother called to tell me my dad had been put on life support. This was when I knew that the last time I saw him was truly the last. He died November 27, 2017 in hospice.

So, back to Nashville I went. Remember that whole "expensive" thing? Yeah, that. Only two months later and, what typically takes me two years to save up for, I had to come up with the money again for myself and my husband on the fly. We had to dip into our savings (thank God we have some!) and buy tickets to go home for the funeral. My hubby has a client who lives here and in Nashville. He graciously offered up his work condo for us to use, while we were there. I am so grateful to him for that! The flights I found were amazingly priced and the car rental company gave us an upgrade. Angels of all kinds were with us.

The service was lovely and being with the family is always good. My uncle (my dad's older brother) is a lot like me in that we didn't need to be with or hover over the body. My dad is gone and that shell he left behind is not him. I understand that people grieve differently but everyone seemed to think that I needed to just be in the space with the coffin. Nope! I'm not the one. We arrived at the funeral a little later and that was okay with me. Afterward, we all had dinner together at a restaurant; joking and laughing. This is what my dad would have appreciated.

An odd but nice series of moments during my time with the family; all of the compliments. My sister had been in Nashville about three weeks ahead of me.  Her immediate flight out was due to some drama she felt compelled to rectify (long story). Basically, the last words she said to my father were not nice at all. She was with him while he was in the hospital and while in hospice so, she spent that time getting to know the step-sisters and step-mother better. I should point out that we are very different. I noticed that, when I arrived, there was this palpable appreciation for my presence. It was incredibly strong. I received compliment after compliment on how I looked and my well-being. I gathered that all the hard work I've been putting into me is visible to others. Sometimes it takes having people who've never seen you or haven't seen you in a while, to point out the really great things you posses. Again, so grateful for this!

We (hubby and I), also spent this time together in Tennessee reconnecting. It was, after all, where we met, where we fell in love, where we married and where we made our first home together. We drove up to our campus and visited some old haunts, one of which being the park where he gave me my promise ring.  Later that day, we went to the state park where we were married.  Just as on our wedding day, there was a briskness on the lake and we held each other tightly. My father married us on that lake. I came home a bit sad, but at peace.

Fast forward two months - I had my 6-month appointment on February 1st and my doctor was overjoyed.  His comment: "I should have you talk to some of my patients about what you're doing." Yay! He said my numbers were excellent! He tried to talk me out of taking my high-blood pressure meds completely, but then we settled on half the dose. I was down over 40 pounds since being diagnosed the previous May and my A1C1 is at 5.5 (it was at 7.1 at my very first visit). Woohoo! I'll have another visit in August and I'm praying that I'll be at my goal weight. Once there, I will do whatever is necessary to maintain it. Weight loss is a bit slower now (not unusual) but, it's still coming off.

Because we had to use a lot of additional funds for the funeral, hubby and I could not do the 20th anniversary trip he was planning. Instead, he booked a few days in Vegas for the entire family the first week in April (spring break). It was a wonderful time and we enjoyed it even more so because of the weather. Not sure about the rest of the country, but winter decided to come back in late March. There have been regular storms bringing in lots of rain and sometimes snow with chilly temps. Nevada was in the wonderful high 80's; just what we needed. The stress seemed to evaporate from all of us. My eldest has been particularly stressed out, what with a new show coming up, prom, graduation and (most importantly) the decision to make on which college to attend. I'm praying, constantly, for financial miracles. I don't want her to graduate with a degree and a suitcase full of debt. Hubby and I quietly celebrated 20 years of marriage together. So very grateful to have him in my life!

My bestie is coming out at the end of May. It is her turn this year, but she has to come early because of graduation. Not mad about that at all! My cousin is coming, too (we happened to finagle that when I visited Nashville in October). Then, off to Vegas again. This time, it's the TOB (Three Old Broads -ha!) going. My bestie's last time in Vegas was in 1990 and my cousin has never been. It's always fun to go someplace you've been and see it through someone else's eyes. It's like seeing it for the first time all over again!

My next post won't take as long (at least, that's my plan). I have to schedule a visit with my OBGYN soon and I'm eager to see what he has to say. After all, my entire diagnosis happened because of my visit with him.

BTW, I borrowed a pair of my daughter's jeans a few weeks ago. Perfect fit!


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Changing Meds, Donating Blood and Preparing to Travel

It's been one month and some change since my last post. In that time, I've dropped down into another weight bracket (another 10 pounds gone). I picked up a psuedo-cold, then upped the immunity supplements and vitamin C to try and knock it out. I was down to a cough, which I couldn't tell if it was residual from the cold or the stupid side effect from my newest prescription.  Aside - the high-blood pressure meds came with a dry-cough as a side effect.  A little cough I could have dealt with but mind-numbing hacking every night was a completely different story. So, off to the doctor I went. 
I let him know what my situation was with the cold and also the meds. He prescribed something new. I hadn't had my medicine when I went to see him and he was astounded at the numbers of my blood pressure. He said, "Your numbers are great and you haven't even had it today!" He also applauded me for the change in my weight and my numbers overall. He let me know that I could halve the new meds, should I find that my blood pressure drops too low. Too low? Wow. I thought I'd never hear the day.

Image result for red cross blood donationScheduled two days later was a blood donation. I'd been meaning to do it ever since the first hurricane. I still had the cough, but I felt good and my levels appeared great for donating. It's been almost twenty years since I've donated blood. It really was time.

Once completed, I drank my little juice and ate my nuts. I got a call from the music store telling me an item was ready to be picked up so, off I went to the store (which was just down the street from the Red Cross building). Out of the car and into the store--too quick! The room was spinning and I knew if I didn't sit down, down I would go and not of my own volition. Yikes! The clerks were very nice and offered me food and water to help. I just sat there for a few minutes while we chatted. How embarrassing! The nurses at Red Cross also said no heavy activity for five hours. That turned into two days for me. Why was I so weak? I guess the change in size and weight can effect your rate of fluid and platelet return on a blood donation. I'll be better prepared next time.

My biennial trip is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited to see my bestie! As I run through all the things I want to do while I'm there, I'm left feeling (as always) that there just won't be enough time to get it all in. Part of the trip will be driving up to our Alma Mater to visit some of our old haunts. I think I'm more excited about that than anything else. It's where we met and where are friendship was born. We have the option to attend some parties but, we did that last time. Honestly, my ass is too old to try and hang out until one or two in the morning these days. No thank you.

Lastly, I let my girls know about the dramatic change in my weight (over 30 pounds lost) and told them that I set little goals in my mind to keep plugging along. The next goal is to go to one of them and say, "Hey, can I borrow your jeans?" The crazy thing is that I'm nearly there. Maybe, by my next post, I will be.
Image result for skinny jeans petite
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Three Months Later and...





I met with my new doctor on Monday, May 22nd. Hubby and I had been arguing about some things but, before the drama, he had said he wanted to go to my appointment. We did end up there together and I was grateful (albeit sad at arriving in separate cars and at the circumstances all around). My doctor explained what was going on and what would be the best route for treatment. Hubby saw the benefits of the medication and his mind was put at ease. I think he's always worried about side effects and the like. Thankfully, one of Meformin's side effects is weight loss.


things are looking good! I had my follow-up appointment on Tuesday, August 22nd; however, let me turn back time a bit.



We left the appointment more informed and wiser, then drove to the park to talk. The talk went well and from there on, things were looking up. I picked up my prescription and began taking the meds the very next day. I had a thought later on, "What about wine?" We had a Vegas trip planned and I wasn't sure I'd be okay to indulge while away. The nurse confirmed my fears. No alcohol, at least until the initial three month review. Damn.

I had an initial drop in weight that I gathered was the result of the meds. Then, things began to stall. I knew that I couldn't just rely on the medication to make the changes. I decided that I had to really kick things into gear.

Three weeks after my appointment, the entire family went to the Diabetes 101 class offered by the local hospital. It was really well done and we learned a lot. It encouraged us to make changes as a whole, rather than it just being me all on my own. My youngest daughter has had a dramatic weight increase and I worried that she wasn't making the best choices. The class helped her with that as well.

Image result for hilton grand las vegas blvdThere were three more classes held during the summer (we missed the last one, due to attending War on the Catwalk for my eldest daughter's birthday) and tons of workouts and extra workouts. I also slashed my calories and changed up my portion sizes. I've pretty much been a low-carber for years, but I've been much more "in control" than in times past.

On vacation (mid-June) we opted for clear alcohol as our one and only libation on the trip (yes. I cheated). It was good but I was so loopy. After eating clean and working out for months, my body reacted strongly to the vodka. I decided I wouldn't have any more for a while.

My goal was to be at least 20 pounds under by my follow-up appointment. When I got on the scale, I was at a 17 pound loss. Yes, I know it isn't the first weigh-in-the-morning number and I was wearing clothes but, I was still bummed. Then, the nurse took my blood pressure and it was high. Crap! Hubby was with me and wasn't as engaged as the first time so, I continued to get more and more bummed. The icing on the cake? The doctor prescribed Lisinopril and a glucose meter. Awesome.

So, we leave the appointment and I go to fill my prescription. I hadn't eaten lunch, so I grabbed some and took it home. Lunch was at around 3:00pm so, when dinner time arrived, I didn't want any. I've begun stopping all food by 7:00pm so, that meant no dinner. Hubby was paying attention to my mood and brought me a cocktail (clear - vodka and sprite). It was just what I needed to drift off into a lovely sleep and end, in my mind, what was a miserable day.

The next morning, my weight had plummeted past the twenty pound loss mark. WTH?! At least it was nice to see on the scale. I used that good news to motivate my day and pull me out of my slump. Why not? I was in a totally different weight bracket and that's always good news.  Anyway, it happened to be the first day of school, so I reveled in being home alone with no one to bother me. I had contractors come to give me quotes on internal doors I need fixing but, other than that, it was a glorious, private day.

By the afternoon, I received a call from my doctor's office. They let me know that my A1C had plummeted, too; more than two points from where it was when I came in, in May! Basically, my numbers are in the norms and life is good. Before the nurse left, I inquired about wine (I miss that more than the liquor).

Image result for wine drinker clipart
"Yes! You can drink wine, just watch the carbs."


Can do! I'll have another appointment in 6 months (February) and, considering what's been happening, I'm very optimistic. It hasn't been easy. I've given up a lot and I have to pay very close attention to every thing I do. I think some people can manage things without documenting but, I tend to backslide if I don't. I use www.thedailyplate.com to track my food but, interestingly enough, I don't track my fitness. I found that when I do, I justify the drop in calorie intake by taking in more calories (one of my issues).

There are loads of other sites out there but I've used this one for years so, I'm comfortable with it. The workouts are still going strong. I try to get in extra activity whenever I can. The most eye-opening thing about all of this is that, instead of me making changes just for a trip or a dress or some event, now I'm doing this for my life. I want to be here for my kids and (Lord willing) my grand kids. I want to have a healthy, quality of life. I'm grateful that I've made these changes now while I'm still fairly young. It's also grand that I have a personal trainer living in my house to help with the changes, too. I couldn't have done any of this without his support.
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Diagnosed

I had a physical on Tuesday (May 16th). It's been a while. The good news is that my insurance changed and I got my favorite OBgyn back. While there, he basically gave me the business about my weight (it's high) and about my blood pressure (also high). He opted to do blood work right then. I had not fasted and worried that this would effect the outcome. The nurse indicated that, the way in which the blood is tested now, it wouldn't matter. He also scheduled me for a mammogram for the upcoming Thursday afternoon (5/25).

Fast forward to yesterday (Thursday). Mammogram complete, I picked up my favorite Thai dish and headed over to the school to wait for my youngest to get out. The phone rings. It's the doctor's office calling about my blood work. Thyroid? Great. Liver functions? Great. No anemia and all looks well accept for...my blood sugar.

Hello, diabetes. I really thought I wouldn't make your acquaintance until much later.

I asked the nurse if I was "pre" and she said,

"Nope. You've graduated."

"I don't want to graduate from this! I want to fail!" Although we were laughing at my joke, I died a little. I certainly didn't want this news. No one ever does.

The nurse, Kristin, was kind and shared a lot of information with me. She wanted to make sure I was moving forward with getting under my doctor's care. When I called my family practitioner directly after speaking with her, the receptionist told me that he would be out of town for a while. So, she scheduled me with his PA. This didn't sit well. I want the opinion of a real doctor (no offense to the awesome PAs out there).

Today, I called and left a message for Kristin to call me back. First, because my husband wanted to know about the validity of the test and how it could determine the numbers if I hadn't fasted. She indicated that, in the past, blood sugar tests where what were used exclusively, but you could cheat those (fast for hours, test with low blood sugar and your test comes back golden). Once you go out and eat after those, your pancreas struggles and the blood sugar goes wonky.  What they do now (and have for the last decade or so) is what's called an AC1, Hemoglobin test which basically reads sugar levels for the past three months. She noted that my levels weren't outrageous, but I'm definitely part of the club.

I let her know that, since my doctor was out, I'd really love for her to refer me to a new doctor in my area. It's just as well. I don't really live close to the city where my current doctor practices. I might as well find one closer to home. She was happy to refer her own doctor to me (turns out we live in the same area). I have an appointment scheduled with him for Monday morning. I'm a bit nervous, but eager to get things underway.

Finally, I talked to my husband after making the appointment. I explained to him with Kristin explained to me about the blood test. He went the rounds of,

"Is it really for sure?" and "Could the tests be wrong?"

I know for me, that it isn't wrong. There are things that have been going on for a while that now make sense; things I haven't mentioned to him. While talking, he wanted to make sure that the doctor didn't push drugs right away because he feels things can probably get under control without them. I feel that way too, but his approach seemed to suggest that I would just jump on the Metformin bandwagon. It's what my mother took when she was "pre". Once she lost a lot of weight, she no longer showed symptoms and doesn't need the medication.

I didn't want to start an argument, but I could tell that's where things were headed. I am not a proponent of "Big Pharma". I know what the end game is for them. What I want is a way to control this, without feeling like I don't have any options. I'm going in with an open mind but also with a drive to get things under control. I kind of wish he could go with me. I know he has questions and concerns. I know that he cares. It's all very up in the air and a little scary. I've got to work at not letting my emotions get the better of me during this transitional period.


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Getting Closer and Closer

We're at the end stretch of purchasing our home. I'm so excited! I don't want to share too much just yet, but it's been quite the process; lots of surprises and interesting little bonuses around every corner. I'm really psyched about sharing the news with our children, who have know idea the process has begun and is nearly finished.

Our goal, Lord willing, is to bring them to their new home on Valentine's day (or thereabouts). We have this entire plan worked out, hubby and I. Let's hope it all comes together the way we want tit to.

Meanwhile, we've got to repair the damage the Maia left in the apartment; scratched up entry-closet door, destroyed back patio blinds, and destroyed bedroom blinds. My coworker, and hubby's client, will be looking over the materials to see if he can order them or find us a good deal on replacing them. He's a contractor and carpenter, so he may be able to just fix the damaged items himself. That would be sweet! Next, we'll take him by the new house and see what he can draft up in terms of a new, updated kitchen. Super excited about that!

Keeping a positive outlook on everything takes a little bit of practice, but I'm finding that I'm much happier focusing on the things that make me happy and content then worrying about what may or may not happen. Thankful and staying in a state of gratefulness.
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If You Didn't Believe it Was Impossible, What Would You do?

It's the day before my 40th birthday and I've been meditating on and delving more into "the secret" or rather, the law of attraction. It has worked for me in the past and now, I'm ready to make it work for me all the time.

In watching the latest video, I've pulled out some of the more introspective thoughts that caught my attention. I've listed them below, so that I can come back and think on them regularly. They are as follows:


  • I know today is going to be a great day. There are no problems, only lessons.
  • Expectation is born of belief. 
  • Don't sell your dream out to someone else's opinion. 
  • If you're "Why" is big enough, the "How" will show up. 
  • We are controlled by our conditions. People who live lives of greatness are willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth. It's when you're uncomfortable that you're growing. 
  • Nervous excitement is, at the conscious level = worry; subconscious level = fear; the physical body=anxiety. The body is just an instrument of your mind. This is just your mind's way of telling you that you're about to grow. Fear is false evidence appearing real.
  • You have infinite potential.
  • In your day-to-day life, what really has purpose for you? That is the focus of your passion.
  • "A set back is a set-up for a comeback."
  • When there are great problems, there are great solutions in every one. Study them.
  • Step out and follow your purpose
  • Are you waiting for your ship to come in? Why not swim out and meet the ship.
  • Focus on how you can, rather than why you can't.
  • When we get an intuitive idea, don't ask if it's right or wrong, good or bad, should I or shouldn't I. The better question to ask is this: "If I acted on this idea, would it then move me in the direction of the model of perfection that I'm claiming I want in my life?" If it will, you've got to move.


After really thinking about what I want; my dreams, my desires, I think I've finally come up with what it is I truly want to do. It's sort of five-fold; I'd like to write for a living and focus my writing on travel (where to go, what to do, where to stay, options for couples, options for families, and so on). To do this (secondly), I would love the ability to travel nearly anywhere with all expenses paid and the comforts of home. I'm up for adventure and trying new things, so long as I can have my family by my side. Thirdly, my baking business is important as well. I had the pleasure of visiting someone's house yesterday after having a birthday lunch with my boss. They own a home bakery. The business is actually an extension of their house and it was completely fitted with commercial equipment. I was highly impressed and inspired. Fourthly, with these two focuses, I'd also like the freedom to spend lots of time with my family. Incorporating them into what I'm doing would be wonderful and allow us all to grow together. Fifth, my passion for animals has never died and I would still like to breed great Danes.

It's a lot and I know it would be all consuming, but I also know it would be so much fun and so worthwhile. There's a huge part of me that wants to share with others and I really feel that I can with all of these ventures. I'm throwing it out there and putting my thoughts on all of it. My goal is to really pay attention to what is put forth on my path; use the gift of discernment and know what it is I'm supposed to do. My journey begins.

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House Hunting Supercharged

I apologize in advance for the jumble that I'm sure this post will become. My need to write down/document what has been going on over the last few months pressed me this morning, so much so that I had to decline "cuddle time" with my hubby. At any rate, I think getting everything down will do me some good. So, here it goes:

October 2014 - Hubby and I began scouring realtor sites for a new home. Three year sentence would be up in December and we were getting excited about finding a home. The short sale would be history and we would, again, have a clean slate to start. We're using our same realtor and began communicating with him again. (A little back history - he hooked us up with a new loan officer last spring, in order to get us prepared for the up coming search. We would be trying a VA loan this time and needed to make sure all of our ducks were in a row. The new loan officer, "J", kept us informed and let us know that, indeed, we would be able to make our purchase after December 13th).

By the end of October, we pretty much knew what we liked and what we didn't like. Our sites were to stay in our current city, but we're open to the surrounding cities (there are seven of them). The more we looked, the more excited we became. Hubby would double-check and double-check about the time frame and we were feeling confident that everything would happen as it should.

Fast forward to November and our relator is telling us he's concerned about our loan officer. He was slated to provide a very straight forward mortgage for a couple and was taking an eternity to do so. Our relator then says that our loan officer had endured issues with prescription addiction in the past and was showing the same signs now as he had then.

"Okay. We're done," we let him know straight away. He quickly found us a new finance company and we began gathering our paperwork for the new contact.

One week before Thanksgiving, the new loan officer "N" let us know that we had not needed to wait three years, only two. Nothing to do but feel the frustration of this news, then move forward.

December 2014 - hubby and I begin to really search for properties. I felt good about the fact that we want a lot of the same things; gourmet kitchen, open floor plan, hardwood/laminate floors, master suite with a large en-suite, lots of windows, a completed basement (if at all possible) and an easy maintenance yard.

Winter is a difficult time to house hunt but we were able to see lots of homes. We saw everything; weird floor plans with strange rooms, carpet everywhere, difficult landscaping, out dated everything, small rooms, etc.... We also saw lots of wonderful things - many homes coming quite close to what we saw as ideal. In early December, we found a home (not in our current city) that had wall to wall hardwood floors, an amazing kitchen, a deep garage, beautiful, up-dated bathrooms and bedrooms, a completed basement with a secondary kitchen along with dual fireplaces. Finally, the backyard was an entertainer's dream, with a huge deck and patio with a place for a hot-tub.

We had our realtor inquire and an offer had already been made, by the time my hubby felt comfortable enough to say he truly liked this house. Ugh! I talked with him about being more swift with his decision making in the future, since the buyer's market is so competitive. We tucked our tails between our legs and went back to the drawing board.

By the week before Christmas, we felt we'd found the home for us (after looking at four homes, then two after). We worked with our realtor to put in an offer, feeling confident that it would be accepted (of course it would! It had been on the market for over 70 days. We'd even met the owner!).  Dang if someone else didn't put in an offer at the same time and snatch it from us. The realtor and my hubby think that the owner's realtor is working "both sides" (the owner's realtor is a relative and the idea is that she found someone to buy his house, so that she can gain commission on the selling and the buying of the property. It isn't illegal but dang if it isn't frustrating). We requested that our realtor put us in as a back up offer. Back to the drawing board we went.

Friday, January second, we set out on another house hunt. This time, six houses were on the list; all in the city in which we currently live. We saw two homes we loved and put an offer into the one with the 1/2 acre yard and amazing location. Our realtor calls us the next day to say that four offers had come in, with one being slightly better than ours. It just kills to have this happen a third time, but we calmly submitted another back-up offer.  What to do, but wait on the Lord...


We have submitted our intent not to renew our lease, so there is now a clock ticking loudly in the background. I feel compelled to watch "The Secret" again and gain my bearings on the laws of attraction. My thoughts are all over and I'm anxious to find what is best for our family. Will we find what is right for us? Will everything fall into place? I certainly don't want to settle. All we can do now is pray, pray, pray.