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Getting Closer and Closer

We're at the end stretch of purchasing our home. I'm so excited! I don't want to share too much just yet, but it's been quite the process; lots of surprises and interesting little bonuses around every corner. I'm really psyched about sharing the news with our children, who have know idea the process has begun and is nearly finished.

Our goal, Lord willing, is to bring them to their new home on Valentine's day (or thereabouts). We have this entire plan worked out, hubby and I. Let's hope it all comes together the way we want tit to.

Meanwhile, we've got to repair the damage the Maia left in the apartment; scratched up entry-closet door, destroyed back patio blinds, and destroyed bedroom blinds. My coworker, and hubby's client, will be looking over the materials to see if he can order them or find us a good deal on replacing them. He's a contractor and carpenter, so he may be able to just fix the damaged items himself. That would be sweet! Next, we'll take him by the new house and see what he can draft up in terms of a new, updated kitchen. Super excited about that!

Keeping a positive outlook on everything takes a little bit of practice, but I'm finding that I'm much happier focusing on the things that make me happy and content then worrying about what may or may not happen. Thankful and staying in a state of gratefulness.
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If You Didn't Believe it Was Impossible, What Would You do?

It's the day before my 40th birthday and I've been meditating on and delving more into "the secret" or rather, the law of attraction. It has worked for me in the past and now, I'm ready to make it work for me all the time.

In watching the latest video, I've pulled out some of the more introspective thoughts that caught my attention. I've listed them below, so that I can come back and think on them regularly. They are as follows:


  • I know today is going to be a great day. There are no problems, only lessons.
  • Expectation is born of belief. 
  • Don't sell your dream out to someone else's opinion. 
  • If you're "Why" is big enough, the "How" will show up. 
  • We are controlled by our conditions. People who live lives of greatness are willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth. It's when you're uncomfortable that you're growing. 
  • Nervous excitement is, at the conscious level = worry; subconscious level = fear; the physical body=anxiety. The body is just an instrument of your mind. This is just your mind's way of telling you that you're about to grow. Fear is false evidence appearing real.
  • You have infinite potential.
  • In your day-to-day life, what really has purpose for you? That is the focus of your passion.
  • "A set back is a set-up for a comeback."
  • When there are great problems, there are great solutions in every one. Study them.
  • Step out and follow your purpose
  • Are you waiting for your ship to come in? Why not swim out and meet the ship.
  • Focus on how you can, rather than why you can't.
  • When we get an intuitive idea, don't ask if it's right or wrong, good or bad, should I or shouldn't I. The better question to ask is this: "If I acted on this idea, would it then move me in the direction of the model of perfection that I'm claiming I want in my life?" If it will, you've got to move.


After really thinking about what I want; my dreams, my desires, I think I've finally come up with what it is I truly want to do. It's sort of five-fold; I'd like to write for a living and focus my writing on travel (where to go, what to do, where to stay, options for couples, options for families, and so on). To do this (secondly), I would love the ability to travel nearly anywhere with all expenses paid and the comforts of home. I'm up for adventure and trying new things, so long as I can have my family by my side. Thirdly, my baking business is important as well. I had the pleasure of visiting someone's house yesterday after having a birthday lunch with my boss. They own a home bakery. The business is actually an extension of their house and it was completely fitted with commercial equipment. I was highly impressed and inspired. Fourthly, with these two focuses, I'd also like the freedom to spend lots of time with my family. Incorporating them into what I'm doing would be wonderful and allow us all to grow together. Fifth, my passion for animals has never died and I would still like to breed great Danes.

It's a lot and I know it would be all consuming, but I also know it would be so much fun and so worthwhile. There's a huge part of me that wants to share with others and I really feel that I can with all of these ventures. I'm throwing it out there and putting my thoughts on all of it. My goal is to really pay attention to what is put forth on my path; use the gift of discernment and know what it is I'm supposed to do. My journey begins.

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House Hunting Supercharged

I apologize in advance for the jumble that I'm sure this post will become. My need to write down/document what has been going on over the last few months pressed me this morning, so much so that I had to decline "cuddle time" with my hubby. At any rate, I think getting everything down will do me some good. So, here it goes:

October 2014 - Hubby and I began scouring realtor sites for a new home. Three year sentence would be up in December and we were getting excited about finding a home. The short sale would be history and we would, again, have a clean slate to start. We're using our same realtor and began communicating with him again. (A little back history - he hooked us up with a new loan officer last spring, in order to get us prepared for the up coming search. We would be trying a VA loan this time and needed to make sure all of our ducks were in a row. The new loan officer, "J", kept us informed and let us know that, indeed, we would be able to make our purchase after December 13th).

By the end of October, we pretty much knew what we liked and what we didn't like. Our sites were to stay in our current city, but we're open to the surrounding cities (there are seven of them). The more we looked, the more excited we became. Hubby would double-check and double-check about the time frame and we were feeling confident that everything would happen as it should.

Fast forward to November and our relator is telling us he's concerned about our loan officer. He was slated to provide a very straight forward mortgage for a couple and was taking an eternity to do so. Our relator then says that our loan officer had endured issues with prescription addiction in the past and was showing the same signs now as he had then.

"Okay. We're done," we let him know straight away. He quickly found us a new finance company and we began gathering our paperwork for the new contact.

One week before Thanksgiving, the new loan officer "N" let us know that we had not needed to wait three years, only two. Nothing to do but feel the frustration of this news, then move forward.

December 2014 - hubby and I begin to really search for properties. I felt good about the fact that we want a lot of the same things; gourmet kitchen, open floor plan, hardwood/laminate floors, master suite with a large en-suite, lots of windows, a completed basement (if at all possible) and an easy maintenance yard.

Winter is a difficult time to house hunt but we were able to see lots of homes. We saw everything; weird floor plans with strange rooms, carpet everywhere, difficult landscaping, out dated everything, small rooms, etc.... We also saw lots of wonderful things - many homes coming quite close to what we saw as ideal. In early December, we found a home (not in our current city) that had wall to wall hardwood floors, an amazing kitchen, a deep garage, beautiful, up-dated bathrooms and bedrooms, a completed basement with a secondary kitchen along with dual fireplaces. Finally, the backyard was an entertainer's dream, with a huge deck and patio with a place for a hot-tub.

We had our realtor inquire and an offer had already been made, by the time my hubby felt comfortable enough to say he truly liked this house. Ugh! I talked with him about being more swift with his decision making in the future, since the buyer's market is so competitive. We tucked our tails between our legs and went back to the drawing board.

By the week before Christmas, we felt we'd found the home for us (after looking at four homes, then two after). We worked with our realtor to put in an offer, feeling confident that it would be accepted (of course it would! It had been on the market for over 70 days. We'd even met the owner!).  Dang if someone else didn't put in an offer at the same time and snatch it from us. The realtor and my hubby think that the owner's realtor is working "both sides" (the owner's realtor is a relative and the idea is that she found someone to buy his house, so that she can gain commission on the selling and the buying of the property. It isn't illegal but dang if it isn't frustrating). We requested that our realtor put us in as a back up offer. Back to the drawing board we went.

Friday, January second, we set out on another house hunt. This time, six houses were on the list; all in the city in which we currently live. We saw two homes we loved and put an offer into the one with the 1/2 acre yard and amazing location. Our realtor calls us the next day to say that four offers had come in, with one being slightly better than ours. It just kills to have this happen a third time, but we calmly submitted another back-up offer.  What to do, but wait on the Lord...


We have submitted our intent not to renew our lease, so there is now a clock ticking loudly in the background. I feel compelled to watch "The Secret" again and gain my bearings on the laws of attraction. My thoughts are all over and I'm anxious to find what is best for our family. Will we find what is right for us? Will everything fall into place? I certainly don't want to settle. All we can do now is pray, pray, pray.


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Getting Prepared for Spring

It's been two years since I purchased Easter dresses for my girls. We've been attending a non-denominational church for the past year that isn't "dress code" enforced like your typical southern churches. We went to church in jeans and it was a little weird, but the service was lovely. I plan to attend our regular, Baptist church this year and have already started making plans for our "look". Is that weird?

I guess I started to think about the fact that my youngest won't be a little one for much longer. She still embraces princesses, their grace and their beauty. I opted for pink and then gave her choices. Here's what she chose:


She's tried it on twice already and absolutely loves it! It seems to have brightened her whole perception and has gotten her thinking about spring. She's really going to rock this dress. My dress, as well as her sisters, is also pink. I'm hopeful that dad will find a tie that pays tribute to our color choice, but still gives some masculinity. Real men wear pink anyway, right?

I've been doing really well with my health and have been happy with how I've been doing. My goal is to get off just a few more pounds and enjoy where I am. It's been quite the learning experience with going low-carb and making new choices, when it comes to my eating habits. The girls have been helpful but sometimes forget. The good news for them is that they've been sucking down the water like little plants. I've seen so many improvements. Good for them!

Back to the church process, I'm so proud of my hubby and his committment to be more of the spiritual leader in our household. It's a little strange for me to give up the reigns, but I've only held them because he's been unavailable. Now, he's participating in service, volunteering to do jobs and seeking out the small-group study sessions. He's even asked to lead our home bible studies! It's wonderful and I'll take whatever I can get. Our relationship is so much better when he's in touch with his spiritual side. Amen!
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Birthday...Rough Day

I have been up for hours. Literally. Hubby and I watched a movie last night till about 11:00pm, then talked till about 11:30pm. All the while, our neighbors above have been slamming things against their floor, laughing and screaming hysterically and doing good knows what. Hubby drifted off, but I remained awake until around 12:00am, then I too fell asleep. Their manic drugs must have worn off because everything went quiet then. Around 2:00am, I woke up to the insanity (more pills popped by chance?) and I haven't been able to fall back asleep since. It's a waking nightmare!

It's been like this since our previous neighbors moved out and the new, psychotic ones, moved in perhaps three or four months ago.  Hubby thinks that the adults leave and teenagers are left to supervise (or whatever) for hours at length. They sound like they are on something because it's erratic and crazy sounding for hours.

Our last apartment situation wasn't the best, but this has got to be the worst ever! I'll be checking our lease for an "out" clause, since we won't be able to mentally stand this for too much longer. Honestly, the light fixtures and doors shake and I don't think it will be too long before a leg appears through the ceiling (or worse). We definitely don't want their drama leaking into our lives.

We're having maintenance work performed on my daughter's room and I'm really hoping this stuff takes place while the staff are here. Sadly, it's rare that the rowdiness ever occurs during the daytime so, we again have no proof. We've complained with no improvements and hubby's car was keyed shortly after we did (he filed a report with the police department, just in case). I fear for our safety and sanity. It's made me a bundle of nerves. What should be a wonderful day for me will probably end up a day of constant sleep, since I got barely any last night.

Thankfully, the girls fell asleep before it got too bad and I'm hopeful that the deepness of it is what is keeping them restful. The dog has been up pacing and I'm sure he's just as nervous and on edge as I am. Hubby and I feel so helpless! I've been praying and asking for patience. I also hope karma kicks in, too. Any extra prayers would be appreciated! Happy birthday to me.
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Bold for 2014

The new year has gotten off to a fairly good start. We spent the evening together as a family (a nice change from previous years). It was quiet and humble. They say that however you start the new year is how it will go throughout. I sort of didn't want quiet, but perhaps that's what we all need (especially with a teenager in the house).

My hope is to try and do more bold things this year. I've been dining out with a friend each month and our last lunch brought forth a realization; I don't have any thrilling stories. How boring! Even as a kid, I was a good girl. I wasn't sneaking out or getting into trouble. I didn't date an array of weirdos, so no stories there. I was even a calm sorority girl! I usually worked the door on Saturday nights for our parties, do a couple of line dances, then go to bed and be up for church the next day. No experimentation of any kind, unless a sip of liquor here and there in high school counts.

When I shared with my better half that I wanted to be more adventurous in 2014, he took it as an invitation to just go sexually crazy. (Not happening, dude). Perhaps in some ways, but not in the ways his depraved mind will go.

To start, I ordered a lace front with blue and have been sporting it since the end of December. It's really pretty and I've received so many compliments. I've got to figure out something worth "story telling" to do before the month ends. It is my birthday month, so I've got an excuse for the police, right? (just kidding. I'm still a good girl at heart. I won't ever take things too far).
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Weird Dreams

I woke up this morning with a turning tummy and a turning head. The turning tummy was from the oil from dinner mixing with the maltitol from that piece of sugar free chocolate I had last night. Hopefully, I can have some productive, personal time with the porcelain this morning (I know; too much information).  The turning head was from the bizarre dream I had last night. Being on the HCG sometimes mimics what I would experience if pregnant and that's one of the side effects; weird dreams. I'm sure the oil and the artificial sweetener helped things along as well.

The dream was about my family, well, my families. I was talking to my dad (and least, I think it was my dad) and he was showing me my family here as well as my family in an alternate universe (ever see The One?) I haven't seen it recently, so I don't think the thoughts came from there. Regardless, my dad was showing me my other family and telling me about how much I loved and cared for both. My alternate family had me with a computer programmer husband; blond, tall and very reserved. My children, biracial, looked a lot like him but I saw bits of me. It's unusal for me to see facial features in a dream. Most times, I'm aware of who people are and know they are who they are, without really seeing the details. I think it's that I feel their spirits, rather than identify their faces. This time, I saw my alternate children in great detail.

The last time this happened, I dreamed I was at a sorority event. We were all wearing white dresses or white suits which, to me, suggested a formal function. There was a buffet table and I was making my way around grabbing things for my plate. I remember feeling really good, like I was happy with my outfit, my size and how I looked overall. I felt I was impressive and had taken my sorors by surprise. As I continued to make my way around the table, the little titter of a toddler caught my attention. The next thing I knew, I was grabbing after this child. I fussed at him a bit when he tried to get away from me, but then he was okay and began to eat some of the items on the plate I had. I saw his face very, very clearly. I also remember his very large, blond fro and freckles; my biracial grandson.

Not sure why he was with me, if he was visiting or if something had happened to his family, I was very invested in his welfare, even for just this formal event. Perhaps it was just me being a good grandmother. Who knows! Weirdness all around.

Finally, with last night's dream, my dad told me that my husband (the alternate one) dies at 40 and I was so saddened by this. I thought about those two girls growing up without their dad and me being a single mother trying to raise them. I was aching and praying for the alternate me, hoping she would be strong enough to handle it all.

There were other aspects of the dream, like being familiar with my alternate husband's crazy family and trying to work through that drama after his death. Nuts, right?

I thought I'd get this all down before I forgot it. Interestingly, I don't think I'll forget the girls faces...just like I haven't forgotten my grandson's.